I Want to Try EMDR… But I Dissociate
What If I Just Float Away?
If you’re curious about EMDR but also someone who tends to shut down, go numb, space out, or “float away” when things get intense, you’re not alone. In fact, many people who seek trauma therapy experience some form of dissociation. And often, they worry that this means EMDR won’t work for them.
You might be thinking:
“How can I process trauma if I literally disappear when it comes up?”
That’s a very real and valid concern. But here’s something important: dissociation isn’t a barrier to EMDR. It’s information. And in many cases, as we often say in EMDR work- what’s in the way is the way.
Understanding Dissociation as Protection
Dissociation isn’t dysfunction. It’s protection. It can look like feeling foggy, losing track of time, going blank mid-sentence, feeling detached from your body, or suddenly feeling very young or very far away. Sometimes it’s subtle. Sometimes it’s dramatic. Your nervous system learned that checking out was safer than staying present. That makes sense.
If you grew up in environments where emotions weren’t safe, where conflict was overwhelming, where you had to be the strong one, or where your body didn’t feel like yours — dissociation may have been the most intelligent strategy available. So when people say, “I dissociate too much to do EMDR,” I gently reframe it. The dissociation isn’t the obstacle. It’s the roadmap. What’s in the way is the way.
EMDR Is Not About Forcing You Into Trauma
A common misconception is that EMDR means diving straight into the worst memory and pushing through it. That is not how thoughtful EMDR works — especially when dissociation is present. As an EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapist, I approach EMDR in phases. And when someone has dissociative symptoms, we spend significant time building stability before processing traumatic material-this is called resourcing.
Before we reprocess anything, we focus on:
Understanding how your flavor of dissociation works through assessments like the MID-60
Strengthening nervous system regulation
Increasing your capacity to stay present
Building internal safety
Identifying dissociative cues early
Creating strong, personalized resources
Sometimes the initial work isn’t about the trauma at all. It’s about helping your system feel safe enough not to leave. And that work is not “extra” or “slowing us down”. It is the work.
Working With Dissociation Instead of Fighting It
When dissociation shows up in session, we don’t override it or push past it. We slow down and get curious. Often, the part of you that dissociates is protective. It may believe that if you fully feel or remember something, it would be unbearable or dangerous. Instead of trying to eliminate that part (because that won’t work and will probably make you dissociate more!), we work with it.
Using parts-informed approaches alongside EMDR, we might explore:
What does the dissociative part fear would happen if you stayed present?
How old does it feel?
What does it need in order to allow some processing to happen safely?
When protective parts feel respected rather than forced aside, dissociation often softens on its own. EMDR and parts work integrate beautifully. We can strengthening your adult self, building internal collaboration, and helping protective parts update their beliefs about present-day safety. In this way, the dissociation itself becomes part of the healing process. What’s in the way is the way.
Resourcing That Actually Works
Resourcing in EMDR is not just imagining a peaceful beach. For clients who dissociate, resourcing is specific, somatic, and personalized. We build internal anchors that your nervous system genuinely trusts.
This might include:
Strengthening a grounded, adult part of you
Installing experiences of competence or protection
Developing a nurturing or protective internal figure
Using container exercises for overwhelming material
Practicing somatic grounding (feet pressing into the floor, temperature shifts, orienting to the room)
Building the capacity to observe emotion without being overtaken
We don’t just install these once and move on. We reinforce them over time so they become accessible when activation rises. Resourcing is not a preliminary step we rush through. It’s foundational.
Small, Manageable Pieces
For people who dissociate easily, we process in very small doses.
We might:
Focus on one small slice of a memory
Put images behind glass or play them on a movie screen
Stay connected to present-day body awareness
Use very short sets of bilateral stimulation
Pause frequently to reorient
It’s more like gently dipping your toe in the water than jumping into the deep end. If dissociation begins, we pause. We ground. We return to the room. We strengthen resources. There is no pushing through.
Learning to Catch Dissociation Early
Part of the work is increasing awareness of the earliest signs of dissociation.
You might start to notice:
Your vision shifts or gets fuzzy
Your voice sounds far away
Your body goes numb
You feel suddenly younger
Your thoughts disappear
The earlier we notice it, the easier it is to gently intervene. Over time, clients often develop a new experience: “I can feel activation without completely disappearing.” That is profound nervous system change.
When Dissociation Decreases
As trauma is processed in a paced, attuned way, the nervous system no longer needs to rely so heavily on dissociation. You don’t have to force presence. It emerges naturally when your system feels safer. EMDR isn’t about exposure or reliving trauma. It’s about helping your brain metabolize what it couldn’t process at the time — at a speed your nervous system can tolerate. If you float away, that doesn’t mean you’re bad at therapy. It means your system learned how to survive. And when we work with that survival strategy — not against it — healing becomes possible.
Considering EMDR but Feeling Unsure?
If you’re curious about EMDR but worried about dissociation, we can talk it through.
In a consultation, we can explore:
What your dissociation looks like
How often it happens
Whether EMDR feels appropriate right now
What preparation would look like
How we would move at your pace
You can schedule a free consultation here to see if EMDR feels like the right next step.
