Is It Normal to Feel Worse Before You Feel Better in Trauma Therapy?
If you've recently started trauma therapy—especially something like EMDR or IFS—you might be wondering, “Why does it feel like I’m getting worse, not better?” First of all: you are not alone, and this reaction is more common than you might think. Healing is not linear, and in trauma treatment, it’s not unusual for things to feel messier before they begin to settle.
Let’s talk about why that happens, what it means, and how to know whether you’re on the right track.
Why Trauma Treatment Can Feel Uncomfortable at First
When you begin working through trauma, you're often confronting emotions, beliefs, and memories that your brain and body have spent years trying to protect you from. You may have developed ways to keep those experiences tucked away—whether that’s staying constantly busy, avoiding certain topics, or numbing out.
Therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) are designed to gently access those protective layers and help you reprocess painful experiences in a new way. But in doing so, old feelings and sensations can temporarily rise to the surface. It’s like finally facing all the open tabs in your browser—at first, it’s overwhelming to see everything you need to tackle. But once you start closing what you no longer need, your mind feels clearer.
Feeling Worse Doesn’t Mean You’re Doing It Wrong
Many clients express worry during the first few sessions of deeper trauma work. You might feel more emotional, tired, or easily triggered. You might even notice new dreams or old memories popping up. While it can feel scary or discouraging, this doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working—in fact, it often means that your nervous system is finally starting to trust the process enough to let the feelings come forward.
In IFS terms, your protectors may be starting to trust you can help, which allows vulnerable parts of you (often younger parts) to be seen and supported. In EMDR, we might activate memory networks that have been “stuck” in the brain’s storage system. These shifts are signs of movement—not of failure.
How to Tell the Difference Between Productive Discomfort and Dysregulation
That said, trauma therapy should not feel unsafe. There’s a difference between the productive discomfort of healing and the kind of overwhelm that shuts you down or retraumatizes you. A good trauma therapist will help pace the work to stay within what we call your “window of tolerance”—the range in which you can stay present and regulated while still doing the hard work.
If you find yourself dissociating often, having panic attacks after sessions, or feeling destabilized for days at a time, it’s important to bring that up in therapy. We may need to slow things down, build more safety and grounding, or focus on resourcing your nervous system before moving forward. There is no rush.
What Helps During These Harder Moments
If you’re in the thick of it, here are a few things that can help:
Normalize the process. Remind yourself: healing can feel like unraveling before it feels like relief. You're not broken—you're brave.
Use your coping tools. Return to grounding techniques you’ve practiced in session: meditation, using your senses, deep breathing, or journaling.
Stay connected. Isolation can amplify hard feelings. Reach out to trusted people or talk to your therapist about how the process is feeling.
Get curious, not judgmental. Instead of wondering “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “What part of me is needing care right now?”
You’re Not Alone in This
Trauma therapy asks a lot of us—it requires courage, vulnerability, and patience. But if you’ve started this journey, it likely means you’re ready for change, even if part of you still feels unsure. That’s okay. It’s all welcome.
My job as a trauma therapist is to help you move through this process at a pace that honors your story, your strengths, and your nervous system. Whether we’re doing EMDR, IFS-informed parts work, or simply beginning to build safety and trust, you don’t have to do it alone.
Healing is possible—and you don’t have to feel good every step of the way for it to be working.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain in your healing process, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I specialize in helping individuals work through trauma using EMDR, IFS-informed therapy, and a compassionate, relational approach. I know how vulnerable this work can feel, and I’m here to support you through every stage of it.
If you're ready to feel more at peace within yourself, I invite you to schedule a free consultation and see if we're a good fit.
